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| I’ve learned something about myself during the first week of summer- I don’t like being alone this much. In the past 8 months in the dorm I was surrounded by people 24/7, which often times was more than I would have liked. I worked about every other day, which lead to more interaction with people, most of which whom I liked. I had classes 4 days a week, and knew people in all of them… I was never really alone. I could isolate myself somewhat, but due to my placement in the hallway, there was pretty much someone within 30 feet of me every moment. When I needed someone to talk to, someone was very close, and almost always accessible, and I took that for granted.
Now I’m back at home, where there aren’t any of my peers around. My mom is gone most of the time, so all I have is Cat, instant messenger and my cell phone. I work everyday, but it’s doing bitch work transcribing tapes in a 5x5 windowless room, and I’m alone sitting there, typing interviews. It’s crappy work, and after 8 hours this week, I’m finally half done with one, God help me. Music and movies have already ceased to satiate my need for human contact, and so I’m already throwing myself into random projects like sewing purses and t-shirt quilts.
This will all be exemplified to a greater degree next week, when my mom leaves me home while she goes to Michigan for 6 days. I’m debating whether to just find random campus friends and crash at their apartments, because though I have a few friends here, I’ll still be spending a lot of time by myself.
In conclusion, I need human contact… real human contact though, AIM isn’t cutting it.
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| Well, I got home from Kentucky a little while ago. It was a good time, and quite interesting. We won both matches 4-0, and are facing UCLA I believe next, in Palo Alto. The match today pretty much turned into a pro-Chief demonstration, ending with the players, coaches, and Matt and I singing Alma Mater. It was really cool. I made the fastest, most efficient shopping trip of my life when I found out about 2:00p that we had a dinner to be at at 5:00p and it was “country club casual”… and Matt and I only had shorts/sweats/jeans. I picked up a really cute outfit at Macy’s for ~$35, which included pinstriped pants, a hot pink lace trimmed tank top, and a white over shirt. After $12 on jewelry and 10 on shoes, I was set, haha.
On the way down, Happy asked me who I thought the most attractive person on the team was. I told Amber that, and she really wanted to know who I answered. Then later I made the comment that if I was to shack with anyone on the tennis team, it would be Brandon or Marc, but I would never do that anyways. She rebuked me saying never say never, etc. And she was the person who originally was like “Paige, don’t get involved with any of the tennis players”. At the mini banquet, I sat across from Marc…which is where things might get interesting. The entire time, he kept making eye contact with me, even if he wasn’t talking to me. Matt noticed that he was looking at me a lot too. He seemed to be mostly paying attention to what I was saying, etc. I told him I would help him with his stats class next semester, and teach him the extra material, etc, because he is worried about eligibility. I told Happy about the eye contact thing, and she was really surprised, because he always was shifty about his eye contact with her, where as I’m usually the one to break it with him. I’m afraid he might kind of have a crush on me. I don’t know if I would like that though. Sigh. I’m probably just over analyzing it though.
Grades are coming in… A in Asian American Psych, B in Personality Psych, and A in Slavic Folklore so far. Waiting on… Social Psych (they’re having issues with the exam, and I’m still trying to talk Michael into giving me an A =) ), Piano, and EOL. If I get a B in Social, an A in Piano, and a B in EOL, I’ll have a 3.65, which would be better than last semester, but still not up to par. My Psych GPA would be 3.23… ick. But everyone keeps telling me I have time to bring it up though, so not to freak out completely, I really need to work on getting my GPA up to a steady 3.8 or 3.9. Hopefully not having an outside job next year will help.
So I wrote this to procrastinate unpacking… I should probably get back to that. I miss you guys.
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| Well, I'm completely moved out of my dorm now, and I all I have left to
do is turn in the key to Snyder. It has been a really long day,
with lots of stairs and lots of lifting. I'm kind of sore, and
pretty tired. I have to wake up at roughly 5:30 am to go to
Happy's house, and from there we're driving to Kentucky for two days of
fun filled days of tennis.
I went to Michael's office today to pick up my last social psych quiz,
and we ended up just talking for about 20 minutes. It was really
nice, and he gave me a lot of advice about the rest of undergrad and
getting into/through grad school. I told him I'm probably going
to come harass him every once and a while for the next few weeks while
I'm working in the Psych building/ before he moves to Barcelona.
Lucky guy, I want to move to Europe! He said that I should get
GRE/Psych GRE books starting this summer/fall, and start prepping for
it now for the best chance. He also said that I should slow down
and not try to kill myself academically... and that part of me reminded
him a lot of himself when he first started grad school.
Speaking of working, my research starts on Monday... 10-15 hours a week
for 3 or 4 weeks I think, plus a 30 minute meeting a week. It's
kinda shitty for only a credit hour, but hey, it's a credit hour
without any tests. I'm going to be putting time in at Catering,
and Art Mart this summer, before moving back into the dorms. I
think that Art Mart is going to be mostly June/July, and maybe some
catering in May, but I kind of want to take a few weeks without
catering.
I finished finals today, my last one taking ~32 minutes. That was
really nice :) I went out last night (see current facebook
picture for outfit, it was pretty hot) to Joe's because it was Caitlyn
E's birthday at midnight. I didn't drink (as usual) but I wore
heels so my feet were killing me. On the other hand, the bouncer
at Joe's really likes me, hahaha. I also did get my hair cut,
which you can also see in the facebook picture. I like it, but am
still getting used to it being 3-4 inches shorter.
I guess this is enough of an update for now... haha, and I said I would never update. I'm such a liar in that respect.
Happy Summer, Tom, and Julie, you only have a few weeks left! I want to
come visit you (both of you, but really Julie) this summer. Screw
binge drinking, it's all about Buffy Binges!!!
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| So I think I'm going to cut my hair; it's getting pretty long now, and is becoming somewhat of a hassle. My only reason for keeping it right now is because I know it garners attention from members of the opposite sex, including my TA's and exam proctors, har har. However, I feel like I'm giving into gender roles if the only reason I keep it long is because males like it. Really, if they think I'm attractive, the length of my hair shouldn't really make a difference, and if they like me, it's who I am that they should be attracted to, not what I look like. It won't be too short, and it won't have bangs. I'm thinking half Jessica Alba and half Eva Longoria, and who knows, maybe I'll somehow gain their cult following of males too
I have one more exam left. In my exam tonight, I managed to answer 3 out of the 4 essay questions, when I was only supposed to answer 2. Man, I'm a smart cookie. My TA is being awesome though, and grading all three and just taking the highest two. I got my research paper for that class back during the final- 95%. She's like a grading machine, 60 8-10 page research papers on Asian American Psychology in less than a week. Plus, she even graded on grammar! I was pleasantly surprised... until I saw that she found a gramatical error I hadn't. Damn you disagreeing tenses!
I have to move more, work, and work more tomorrow, then move, see Michael (soooo hot), have my Summer Research Meeting, and meet with one more TA before my final on Thursday. I'm lucky it's a Mickey Mouse class which I should rock on the final.
I kind of like that only 2 people read my xanga, and that they're two people I trust a lot.
After my final tonight, Matt and I went to Outback Steakhouse, because we knew they have Blooming Onions.... Spike would have been proud 
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| I'm sitting here, in front of my computer (obviously) with my Readings for Diversity and Social Justice book for EOL class open, and I'm "working" on my paper. My paper has two different tones to it though, but I really don't know if it's worth rewriting part of it when this has already been a somewhat painful ordeal for me. I keep wanting to say "I learned nothing in this class, I had horrible facillitators and in some ways in enabled discrimination in social justice issues, rather than combatting it" but I know that really, I can't. Well, I could, but my 5-7 page paper would be like a page long. I've already been proactive about it situation, and talked to the Head of Res Life EOL and all of EOL, and they know and understand my plight. However, I know that unless I bullshit on this paper, I'm not going to get a good grade... not that at this point it really matters. So right now I'm walking the line of bullshitting a little of what I was reintroduced to, and saying it was generally worthless, and both sides of the line are already apparent in what I've written.
It's 65 out, and I'm freezing. I'm over tired, and my exams start tomorrow. I'm effing screwed. I still need to pack to move out, and I feel like this summer I'm going to be missing so many people. Atleast I'll be busy with research for the first part, and multiple jobs the second. Sigh.
In other news, I know Tom (but not Julie, my two Xanga fans) knew that I was dating someone. Prepare for disappointment, we broke up. However, in the argument leading up to it, I learned that I'm an elitist bitch, who thinks that I'm better than everyone else. I'm always belittling and looking for new ways to degrade people, and that I sicken people.
Good to know.
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